Saturday, February 25, 2012

I just wrote this song... is it good?

im 13 years old and my dream is to be a singer. id love to be in a girl band. me and my friends came up with this song and we think its really good.. but i just want your opinions? we're singing harmonies and everything so it sounds really coool.. i came up with most of the lyrics :)





Verse 1:


So tired of the same old story


Baby please don't tell me that you're sorry


So tired of you in my life


Tryin' to teach me what is wrong or right


Well you're wrong


Listen to my song


This is the moment where we break up now


You see, this is what I need


It's the end of you and me





Chorus:


Guess it's time to say goodbye


I no longer want you in my life


I don't care what people say


But they don't want us together anyway


I'm lookin' left, I'm lookin' right


Can't take anymore of these constant fights


But just look on the bright side


We're both reaching to a better life


And that's alright (Alright)


Alright, (Alright)


That's alright (alright)


Alright, alright





Verse 2:


Don't know why we were in love


Even before things got so tough


I've just given up on this game


I don't care who's lost, or who has the big win


This love, it just wasn't enough


That's why this break up is not tough for me


This was not love at first sight


More like hate at first fight





Chorus:


Guess it's time to say goodbye


I no longer want you in my life


I don't care what people say


But they don't want us together anyway


I'm lookin' left, I'm lookin' right


Can't take anymore of these constant fights


But just look on the bright side


We're both reaching to a better life


And that's alright (Alright)


Alright, (Alright)


That's alright (alright)


Alright





Verse 3:


I know this is hard for you to get in your head


You need to know that this is all for the best


You made me so afraid of being me


Why should I carry on if you refuse to see


That love isn't about just takin' advantage


Looks don't count, not every day is a marriage


So now I think it's time that you should leave me alone


And turn off all the lights that were brightly shown


I just regret our whole relationship


But please don't fret, 'cause we could still be friends





Chorus:


Guess it's time to say goodbye


I no longer want you in my life


I don't care what people say


But they don't want us together anyway


I'm lookin' left, I'm lookin' right


Can't take anymore of these constant fights


But just look on the bright side


We're both reaching to a better life


And that's alright (Alright)


Alright, (Alright)


That's alright (alright)


Alright, alright


That's alright





ok some of the lyrics might not make sense we're working on it:) please no nasty comments we worked really hard on this song;) thanks xxx|||I like it (: i am also a songwriter at 13, and I think its good|||You're pretty good. Keep working at it, you definitely have talent :) I have written over 200 songs and the best advice I can give is just keep writing. Your work will slowly start to evolve and get better and better. Good job|||I thought it was not bad, but I don't know the tune so it's hard for me to say.|||I can definitely hear a melody or beat there, but personally, I feel its a bit of an exhausted theme being covered here, there's not much originality in the lyrics. It's nicely written and you shouldn't change your song to please others, but yeah, perhaps add a few interesting metaphors and give it a fresh title :)

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