Why do I let men use me...is it a childhood issue?

long story short: i'm 22 and still a virgin, however I have given a few guys bjs and made out with some that i only met one night. thing is i really want love and affection and attention, bbut guys never seem to want to date me, they only want to bed me, so i figure i'd take what i can get, b/c when they are getting sexual favors they are giving me the attention and affection i really crave. otherwise, they don't give me the time of day. now it's starting to hurt me and i keep crying. one guy i waw with sexually for some time ended up saying he was not ready for a r/s, but he flirts with other girls even after trying to get with me again! i know he's a jerk, but i keep falling for it since it makes me feel wanted. what can i do to stop this cycle... i don't want to be alone, but i don't want to feel used any longer. why do i do this? is it b/c my mom and dadd didn't give me much attention? it's like i want to be the center of someone's world, yet if i was i would feel smothered and find them pathetic. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?Why do I let men use me...is it a childhood issue?
Stop having sexual contact with strangers. Your "virginity" also should include a lack of sexual contact.



Mostly, it sounds like you need to work on your self esteem.
The reason guys date is for sex . Sex first ,,, relationships second.

Seeking sex is not " using you " anymore than your using sex to get attention is your using them .

It's an exchange.Why do I let men use me...is it a childhood issue?
You just want the loving attention that is all, save it until you want to get married.
Yes Honey it does stem from your unhappy childhood, you crave love, you crave the feeling of wanting to be needed, and then you go ruin it all by making yourself too cheap. I do not mean that nasty nor is it said to upset you, but you yourself are seeing that now for yourself, the guys are not staying with you. They are using and abusing you, so come on sweetheart, get angry at just that, why the hell she they use you? You have to regain some self worth back. True it stems from childhood but now Honey you are grown up, its your life now no matter how good or bad a childhood is its now up to the adult you to demand and get better for yourself.



So of the course the answer is and you know it, don't give in easy to men. Unfortunately men talk and it will have gone around that you're easy, but prove them wrong, just don't give in to sex, make sure they get to know you first. OK some will walk away, but they are not the ones you want or need.



Have faith and trust in yourself, you are worthy of good love and respect. Don't matter how you used to be, everyone of us can change, that's the wonderful thing about being human beings.



Just be more pickier, its up to you, and I feel sure you can do it.



Best wishes

Billie UKWhy do I let men use me...is it a childhood issue?
It does seem to be a childhood issue. You need to deal with this, or else this cycle will continue for many years to come. The fact that you are doing sexual favours, but staying a virgin, seems that part of you craves love and attention ( which is normal to want it, but crave it, can be a problem), and yet the other part of you holds on to your virginity, as you may have real intimacy issues.

I think the way to resolve this is through therapy, see what is in your past, discuss it, and focus on what you want out of life. The type of guy that you want, and one that deserves you. There are good videos on You tube discussing The inner Child "john bradsaw deals a lot with this, and he has books and workshops. Start reading books about this from the library, and go for counseling.
Nothing is wrong with you, everybody needs attention and have someone special even us guys. It is good that you don't have intercourse and that you are still a virgin, the less men you sleep with the better it will be to find a good family men. However you are probably looking in the wrong places, I suppose you meet this guys at clubs and maybe you work at a restaurant or store, not sure but usually in this places most guys are not ready to have a real relationship, that is why you need to find out more about the guy before you go out with them, Make sure he has a decent at least 40hr/wk job, has no children, cares for his parents and has both of his parents together not divorce (I know so many couples are divorce now a days, but there are good families still). Go to church, do voluntary work for some organization to meet someone that not just cares about himself but for others, and he will most likely not want to use you like so many do. Do some research before you say yes to going out, know them before you take that first step.