What do you think of this? Does it make sense?

This is the opening paragraph to my story. Please tell me what you think the story will be about based on this paragraph. It can be anything. Thanks.



On the Day of Annuens, two suns tower over Terram: the warm, golden sun to the east and the cold, silver sun to the west. I would like to say that both of the suns bring beauty and light to my hometown, but it isn鈥檛 true. As the silver sun rises, the townspeople cower in the safety of the shadows of the golden sun, letting their false sense of security subdue them. Although each day that passes can be called the present, the Day of Annuens is certainly not a day of receiving, but giving. And with every person that Annuens receives, six are taken away from the people of Terram: a brother, a father, an uncle, a grandfather, a son, and a nephew.What do you think of this? Does it make sense?
I really don't think that this is a good hook. If this was a story I was writing, I would have an individual character looking at the sun and imagining this, not describing what will happen. I would have more of the character observing and feeling, so that the reader gets it too. I would personalize it more. You've described what a mass of people are thinking and that's impersonal.

And throwing in two made up words in the first sentence is a little taxing too.What do you think of this? Does it make sense?
Amazing, and amazingly intriuging. I am slightly confused by some of the description, but it would definitely make me read on! The idea of six people for every one is interesting and unique, and I wonder both why and how they do this. What happens to them afterwards? What is the Day of Annuens? Why do the people cower from the sun? But these are exactly the type of the questions you want me to be asking! It makes me eager to read on and find out the answers. Just make sure that the rest lives up to this part!What do you think of this? Does it make sense?
I think your idea is very good and interesting, it certainly makes me want to read more. However I agree with the first post, you need to write it in a different way to make it more mysterious. It was mysterious, but you've given it away too soon and you need to just give subtle hints to the reader and allow the explanation to unravel as the story progresses. But it is very good, and I think you have an interesting idea on your hands.

Hope I could help :)

Good luck and have fun writing!