Please help: What is the best position for sex the first time & how can I be relaxed (have vaginismus)?

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I'm 24 yrs old %26amp; a virgin with a very tight, intact hymen. Just a few months ago, after a couple attempts FINALLY my doc was able to get a successful pap smear. I barely got through it as it was quite painful. The gynecologist said I have a normal vagina (and my test results came back normal). She was NOT able to get a pelvic exam however, only got about an inch of finger in before it sent me through the roof. I could not tolerate the pain %26amp; she said she'd try another time..



I feel I definitely have Vaginismus (basically when the vagina muscles tighten up %26amp; puts up a "wall" when trying to put something there: tampon, penis, etc). This has caused a lot of embarrassment %26amp; frustration for me in my sex life--especially now that I am in a happy, monogamous relationship with someone I want to have intercourse with. Today we tried with me on top %26amp; I was kind of sitting on him. I kept trying to guide him in, but the penis would always bend/slip towards my butt. It really does feel like a wall closes.. : ( even though I really want him inside me, muscles seem to clamp down. Would it be a better idea if I have him on top so he's in control %26amp; just essentially ram it in? I know it will probably hurt %26amp; then that makes me all squirmy %26amp; i don't want him to feel like he's raping me! I am trying to think of all options.. I do NOT want to do dilators and all that crap.. Just simply want to have sex with my boyfriend, especially on valentine's day tuesday.. : ( Any help is appreciated! I know he's starting to get frustrated (we've been dating over 3 months) when I'm flailing at his penis %26amp; keep pushing and nothing happens..



Thanks for help!Please help: What is the best position for sex the first time %26amp; how can I be relaxed (have vaginismus)?
For this its probably easiest to be in a missionary with yourself laying down relaxed and to prevent geting excited early which will cause "the wall" to go up close your eyes. Stay calm when he goes in and when hes in you can do whatever but if he tries to goes completely out again it might close.Please help: What is the best position for sex the first time %26amp; how can I be relaxed (have vaginismus)?
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